The obvious things I do to GET OFF my phone
10 ideas/tips to lessen the grip of the black mirror using creativity
Hi, I’m Amy. I’m an artist, business owner and mother of two living in vibrant South East London.
I’m here to share the creative threads running through wellbeing, motherhood, business and life. I’m a fan of connection, community and remembering what it is to be human today.
How tight is the grip?
After spending a few days away with some old school friends I realised how bad our phone addictions are becoming. As well as witnessing the addictions in action, my friends openly tell me they want to be on their phones less, feel shit when they find themselves scrolling, and one is going to buy a brick phone because her usage feels out of her control.
The majority of that group had kids - if we want our children to stand any chance of having a healthy relationship with phones and tech, we have to be able to model it for them first.
I feel like I could see this coming years ago - my artist brain constantly questions how we live as humans - I’ve been fascinated by every stage of this journey so far - from the introduction of Facebook in my teens, into selfie culture to AI & TikTok…I think I’ve had a narrow escape from being in the constant clutches of my phone because I could see and feel the negative effects from the get go. Armed with creative outlets that have nothing to do with my phone have helped with this.
I don’t want this post to be a preachy or virtuous post. I’m just going to note down some thoughts and ideas about phone use that I hope could be helpful. These might be incredibly obvious, but you never know.
If I didn’t have to use my phone for work stuff I’d be back on a Nokia 3210
At home, don’t carry it around with you. It isn’t a baby, or a Tamagotchi. Even if it’s not making a noise you will feel compelled to check it or do something on it if you have a few seconds. When you get home for the day leave it in a room you’re not in and out of like a bedroom.
Turn off App sound and noise notifications. This one feels the most obvious but I’m going to say it anyway. Instead of having your attention pulled away from whatever you’re doing when your phone decides, make it about when YOU decide. You might have some time to get back to your whatsapp messages, read an article on Substack or look up someone home inspiration on Instagram. I get no notifications on my phone apart from if someone calls or texts me. If something is really important, people will call you.
Don’t reach for it first thing in the morning. Turn the alarm off and get up, make a coffee, get in the shower, go see the kids. Your nervous system will thank you for not being jolted awake by multiple red alerts to start your day.
I highly recommend delaying that first morning check for as long as you can - especially if your instinct is to scroll through social media. I think this brings a clarity to your morning not clouded by hundreds of other people shouting about their thing. I normally have a quick check for messages from family or friends and get back to anything urgent, otherwise everything can wait.
Use your laptop or tablet for as many tasks as possible.
Increasingly organisations, work, restaurants, bars, shops are pushing us to do more and more on our phones. The little bits we can move to laptops or tablets which are less connected to distracting apps and notifications (if we set them up right) the better.
How many hours a day can we spend with our heads down, fingers and thumbs jabbing onto the tiny rectangle before we realise our posture and brains are rotting…
Have things you do at home where you physically put your phone down. The more things you can do in your home or garden without a device, the more you’re going to be able to remember what it is to be living in the real world.
Things I love for this - planting stuff and then the hours of tending to whatever grows; deadheading, watering, tying to stakes, peeling snails off leaves and relocating..bread making; this is a great one as dough-covered hands physically prevent you from picking up the phone. De-cluttering drawers or shelves - try in the kitchen whilst you’re waiting for the kettle to boil. Playing or making music - this is one I’m going to try out when we move house and get our piano back. I love making up music and know it’s so good for the brain.
Don’t let your phone be part of your sleep routine. I actually try not to be on my laptop from 8pm either. Even with blue light filter apps, I feel like the stimulation from either device makes me wired before bed. Everyone is different so maybe you’re not as affected, but friends have definitely told me the late night scroll leaves them going to sleep feeling irritated/sad/hopeless/angry. Could you read a few pages of a book instead? Extra points for a physical one at this time of day - I’ve got a Kindle but also love requesting new release books at my local library to save cash.
Schedule social media posts. I need to use Instagram for work but I’m completely not arsed about the algorithm (I THINK this probably wants you chained to your phone responding to every comment or like within a millisecond?😂) so I’ll schedule posts to keep things ticking over so I don’t need to constantly be on the app *yes I’m looking at you Instagram.
Sometimes I’ll often forget which days I’ve got things coming out and get a pleasant surprise when I log on to have a daily check and there’s a little flurry of activity. But I’m not sat there watching and hoping for little red hearts to appear in real time.
Take some time to curate your social media feeds. Have a good old tidy up; it might take a while but I love a digital detox. Mute or unfollow anyone that’s making you feel weird through comparison, fomo, or you just don’t align with whatever they’re doing anymore. This can also look like removing people that follow you too. Follow new people you’ve found in real life or on platforms you love (like here) or leave everything clean and tidy to add to when you find someone or something you really love.
If you have spare time, try out new hobbies. I can’t write from experience here as I have two young kids under 4 and I have ZERO spare time at the moment, but if I did, I’d be paper marbling, getting back into Netball, finding people to start a music jam session with, learning a dance routine on youtube…on my one full work day this week I squeezed in a basic Pilates session (because A: I’m not sure if my core is OK post babies and B: the normal class was fully booked!) but I was the outsider in amongst the class of 70 and 80 year olds - and I bloody loved it!
Connect to your real life. Make plans to see friends and have proper chats. Have phone chats if you can’t physically meet up. Write letters again, and actually post them. Speak to your parents and loved ones. Think about what you’d regret on your death bed. Not working enough? Or not seeing/being with/speaking to the people you love enough. I know which one it would be for me.
